Hey guys. I’m glad to be finally posting my “mental breakdown survival guide”. As you know I struggle a lot with mental health, and so I have been through a lot of breakdowns. So many that I actually dropped out of university after 3 weeks in 2016 and had to take the whole year off. Because of this, I’ve made it my mission to help others with mental health issues as much as I can, so you don’t have to go through what I’ve been through.
Anyway, here is my guide. I tried to keep it general, and actually useful. If you have any questions or additions please feel free to add them.
And as ever, if you want to talk to me about studying with mental illness or want to see a post on a specific topic, please feel free to message me.
I dont think im gonna be active on this account for a while if ever again, so feel free to unfollow! I’ll eventually deactivate but for now I’ll be around sporadically to answer any messages.
Anonymous asked: Dear Archy, if you were about to imagine a perfect utopian city, where everything is flawless (like, infrastructure, aesthetics etc), which one of the existing real cities would it remind of?
I am sure is not one of the many modernist ideal cities proposed in the first half of the 20th century.
La Città Nuova Antonio Sant'Elia
Broadacre City Frank Lloyd Wright
Ville Radieuse LeCorbusier
I am also sure is not one of the developments meant to create “ideal communities”.
Seaside, Florida
New Songdo City, South Korea
Celebration, Florida
Personally, I like cities where old and new seem to coexist and thrive. Cities where neighborhoods have different personalities and histories. Cities where you find people form different diverse communities and socio economic backgrounds. So I tend to gravitate towards the large cities of the world, our metropolises, full of good and bad things but that house within them the driving force of our civilization.
“Hello, my name is Hajime Isayama and this is my manga. It’s about a world dominated by monstrous humanoid cannibals, and the last vestiges of mankind (Germanic Europeans) must fight to maintain their borders and slaughter those horrible creatures that have subhuman intelligence and weird-looking faces and no dicks whenever they intrude.“
“The plot takes a shocking turn when the inhumans begin to act intelligently and it’s revealed that some of the heroic military officers the story follows are actually inhumans having infiltrated our society to destroy us from within.
The heroic military officers must purge the inhumans while also dealing with ungrateful citizens who think their taxes should go somewhere other than the military.”
“And then the ultimate reveal…The Germanic heroes are actually a race imbued with superhuman power from the source of life itself, and they once ruled over other humans as literal titans. But then the other humans rebelled and started committing reverse racism on them- making them into second class citizens that wear identifying armbands and live in ghettos and internment camps instead of the other way around! The German race was forced into borders that are paltry compared to the great empire they once ruled, and the current generation has no memory of the greatness of their ancestors- the people of Ymir the Nordic frost giant! By the way, have I mentioned that the commanding officer of the good guys is named Erwin Rommel Smith?”
Wow, Attack on Titan is literally an unironic version of the fictional Dream of the Swastika in Iron Dreams by Norman Spinrad. That book was about how if you dress nazi ideology and aesthetics in fantasy, people eat it up.
And here it is, in real life - literal Nazi Ideology being celebrated as just fantasy. Something that was old hat and being satirised in the early 1970s.
i love giant squid documentaries bc they’re always like “it’s just so big but we just… can’t fuckign f ind it??? ? where is this fucking squid? ? ? ?? ???”
Sometimes people like to write things about florist’s shops. Here are two things you need to know, the most egregiously wrong things.
1. It makes no fucking sense to sketch out a bouquet before you make it. Every individual flower is different in a way that cannot really be adjusted the way other building materials can be adjusted, and each individual bouquet is unique. Just put the fucking flowers together.
2. No one — in months and months of working at the flower shop — has ever cared what the flower/color of the flower means. No one’s ever asked. It’s just not something people tend to care about outside of fiction and it’s certainly not something most florists know. You know what florists know? What looks good and is thematically appropriate.
Here’s an actual list of the symbology of flowers, as professionals use it:
Yellow – for friends, hospitals Pink – girls, girlfriends, babies, bridesmaids Red – love Purple – queens White – marriage and death (DO NOT SEND TO HOSPITALS) Pink and purple – ur mum Red, orange, and yellow – ur mum if she’s stylish Red, yellow, blue – dudes and small children Blue and white – rare, probably a wedding Red and white – love for fancy bitches
Here are what the flowers actually mean to a florist:
The Fill It Out flowers:
Carnations – fuck u these are meaningless filler-flowers, not even your administrative assistant likes them, show some creativity Alstroemeria – by and large very similar to carnations but I like them better Tea roses – cute and lil and come several to a stalk, a classy filler flower Moluccella laevis – filler flower but CHOICE Delphinium – not as interesting as moluccella but purple so okay I guess Blue thistle – FUCK YEAH, some fucking textural variety at last! you’re getting this for a dude, aren’t you? Chrysanthemums – barely better than carnations but better is still better Gladiolus – ooh, risky business, someone understands the use of the Y-axis, very good
Focal points:
Long-stem roses – yeah whatever Lilies – LBD, looks good with everything, get used as often as possible Hydrangeas – thirsty fuckers, divas of the flower world and rightly so, treat them right and they make you look good Gerbera daisies – the rose’s hippie cousin, hotter but no one admits it Peonies – CHA-CHING, everybody’s absolute favorite but you need guap Orchids – if this isn’t for a wedding you’re probably trying too hard but they’re expensive so keep ordering them
You know what matters? THE CUSTOMER’S BUDGET. THAT’S TELLING.
-$20 – if you’re not under 12, fuck off, get your sugar something else $30 – good for bouquets but an arrangement will be lame $40 – getting there, there’s something that can be done with that. you can get some gerbs or roses with that and not have them look stupidly solo. $50 to $70 – tolerable $80 – FINALLY. It sounds elitist but this really is the basic amount of money you should expect to spend on an arrangement that matters. That’s your Mother’s Day arrangement. You’re probably not going to spend $80 on a bouquet. $90 to $130 – THE GOOD SHIT, you’re likely to get some orchids $130+ – Weddings and death. This amount of money gets you a memorial arrangement or a handmade bridal bouquet. Don’t spend this on a Mother’s Day or a Babe I Love You arrangement, buy whosits a massage or something.
Miscellaneous:
Everything needs greening and if you don’t think that you’re an idiot.
As a new employee, when you start making arrangements, you can’t see the mistakes you’re making because you’re brand new and you’re learning an art form from the ground up.
With a few exceptions customers don’t have a clear plan in mind. They want you to develop the bouquet for them. They want something that will delight their little sweetbread but you’re lucky if they know that person’s favorite color, let alone flower.
Flower shops don’t typically have every kind of flower in every kind of color. Customers generally aren’t assed about that. Most people don’t care about the precise shade of the rose or having daffodils in July, because they’re not boning up on flower language before they buy. That would imply that they’ve got a clear bouquet in mind and, again, they don’t.
Being a florist is essentially a lot like what I imagine being a mortician is about. You’re basically keeping dead things looking good for as long as possible. You keep the product in the fridge so it doesn’t rot and look horrible by the time the family gets a whack at it, and in the meanwhile you put it in a nice container.
Anyway that’s flowers.
this is magnificent and I love hearing about ppl job feilds
I would foremost correct you by saying that it’s “not all Sunni”. I tend to avoid generalizations per Islamic law.
“…No person earns any (sin) except against himself (only) and no one will be considered responsible for another’s sins. You will all be returned to your Lord who will tell you what is right and wrong in disputed matters among you.” [6:164]
However, Sunnis do benefit from privilege in predominately Sunni nations.
Now with that said, there is indeed a privilege of being Sunni in the vast majority of Islamic nations, and this has led to the persecution of minorities, among these are Shias, MENA/SA Christians, Jewish people, Ahmadis, Ezidis, Baha’is and etc.
But on the topic of Shia persecution, why is there such a wide marginalization of them by Sunnis? Now to understand this, one must go back to the era of Imam Hussain (a) and his father. Imam Hussain (a) was a leader revered by both Sunnis and Shias, while the latter consider him of greater stature. Now Imam Hussain (a) was part of a rebellion that tried to overthrow a despot of a king known as Yazeed ibn Muawiyah (l.a), the battle was between good and evil, but with a tragic outcome that led to the death of Imam Hussain (a), his family, and companions, this would ultimately pave way for the theological crystallization of the party known as the Shias (followers of Ali), the movement of Shias were only political before Imam Hussain (a). The Muslims who swore their allegiance to Imam Ali (a) and his son, Imam Hussain (a) as the true leaders of the Islamic nation were known as Shias. During the post-Hussayini era, many Shias tried to overthrow the despotic kingdoms of the Umayyads and Abassids, but this would mostly end in failure, and the Shias had to hide their belief as to not suffer from persecution [Taqiyya]. From these kingdoms, scholars would form their own congregation of Islam known as Ahlul Sunnah Wal Jumu'ah (Sunni Islam). Because of the influence of the established kingdoms, Ahlul Sunnah sought to find a balanced way as to avoid the questioning of certain personalities and instead focus on the traditions (Sunnah) of the Prophet, because the Shias questioned the leadership of the three first caliphs. Since questioning the leadership of these so called caliphs were considered blasphemous, the schools of Ahlul Sunnah sought to establish a balanced way which succeeded in influencing the laymen of Islam, leaving them with no accessibility to the truth. In fact, many scholars sprung up and criticized the Shias (among other minorities) harshly with fatwas. Notable scholars such as Ibn Taymiyyah, Ibn Qayyim and Ibn Uthaymeen who have, till this day, influenced contemporary Salafist thoughts.
Fast-forwarding to the 17th century, a man by the name of Muhammed ibn Abdul Wahaab sought to establish a purified version of the Sunni Islamic school of law to its former glory. This puritanical thought based its teachings of Ibn Taymiyyah among other staunch scholars. Abdul Wahaab sought to oppose the late and weak Ottoman Empire by seeking the help of the House of Saud together with British influence (because the Brits opposed the Ottomans) to oppose the Ottomans. As a result, the Arabs of the Hejaz region (today Saudi Arabia) managed to overthrow the Ottoman governors of Hejaz and establish the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, with Wahhabism as its state religion.
Wahhabism is the result of the teachings of Abdul Wahaab that sought to restore Islam to its former glory. This meant that rituals such as grave visitation and intercession amongst other things were heretical innovations; anyone who partook in these rituals was considered Idolaters or Non-believers. These rituals were popular among Shias and a lot of Sunnis. As a result, the Wahhabis tried to eliminate the presence of Shias by sacking the holy city of Karbala, which led to the death of thousands of Shias and the destruction of the graves of the holy personalities for both Sunnis and Shias in Medina. Because they don’t consider Shias to be Muslims, as well as the belief that Shias are apostates, many Wahhabis believe that they should be exterminated or take their women as sex slaves.
Fast forwarding to this day, Wahhabism has gained traction and is the primary cause of many Jihadi Sunni extremist groups who - even till this day - are trying to eliminate the “Shia Crescent” (the geographical area in MENA with a Shia majority or influence). Examples of these groups are DAESH, Jabat al-Sham, Jaysh al-Islam, Fatah al-Sham, and many others. Wahhabism has thus become an extremely puritanical thought that tries to exclude Shias as Muslims and eliminate them on sight. Wahhabism has now even influenced a lot of Sunnis to the point that they are unconscious of where their prejudice takes their roots from. The Gulf states’ sponsor of Wahhabism with the support of the West, is the sole reason behind the chaos you see in the MENA and the reason why terrorism in the western world has become commonplace. Though they’re by no means perfect, the blame is not on Iran, a predominately Shia state, but the Gulf states who sponsor Wahhabism all around the world. However, it is important to understand that Shias have been persecuted for 1400 years, but the persecution only escalated with the introduction of Wahhabism and contemporary Salafi thoughts.
Shias are now severely persecuted in nations such as Pakistan, Afghanistan, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Egypt, Nigeria and etc where Sunni supremacism is rampant. What you as a Non-Shia can do is to acknowledge that these issues are fundamentally rooted from the Gulf states’ support of Wahhabism, and that continuous terror in the world will continue as long as one does not distance themselves from it and acknowledge it.
Here’s my life. My husband and I get up each morning at 7 o’clock and he showers while I make coffee. By the time he’s dressed I’m already sitting at my desk writing. He kisses me goodbye then leaves for the job where he makes good money, draws excellent benefits and gets many perks, such as travel, catered lunches and full reimbursement for the gym where I attend yoga midday. His career has allowed me to work only sporadically, as a consultant, in a field I enjoy.
All that disclosure is crass, I know. I’m sorry. Because in this world where women will sit around discussing the various topiary shapes of their bikini waxes, the conversation about money (or privilege) is the one we never have. Why? I think it’s the Marie Antoinette syndrome: Those with privilege and luck don’t want the riffraff knowing the details. After all, if “those people” understood the differences in our lives, they might revolt. Or, God forbid, not see us as somehow more special, talented and/or deserving than them.
There’s a special version of this masquerade that we writers put on. Two examples:
I attended a packed reading (I’m talking 300+ people) about a year and a half ago. The author was very well-known, a magnificent nonfictionist who has, deservedly, won several big awards. He also happens to be the heir to a mammoth fortune. Mega-millions. In other words he’s a man who has never had to work one job, much less two. He has several children; I know, because they were at the reading with him, all lined up. I heard someone say they were all traveling with him, plus two nannies, on his worldwide tour.
None of this takes away from his brilliance. Yet, when an audience member — young, wide-eyed, clearly not clued in — rose to ask him how he’d managed to spend 10 years writing his current masterpiece — What had he done to sustain himself and his family during that time? — he told her in a serious tone that it had been tough but he’d written a number of magazine articles to get by. I heard a titter pass through the half of the audience that knew the truth. But the author, impassive, moved on and left this woman thinking he’d supported his Manhattan life for a decade with a handful of pieces in the Nation and Salon.
Example two. A reading in a different city, featuring a 30-ish woman whose debut novel had just appeared on the front page of the New York Times Book Review. I didn’t love the book (a coming-of-age story set among wealthy teenagers) but many people I respect thought it was great, so I defer. The author had herself attended one of the big, East Coast prep schools, while her parents were busy growing their careers on the New York literary scene. These were people — her parents — who traded Christmas cards with William Maxwell and had the Styrons over for dinner. She, the author, was their only beloved child.
After prep school, she’d earned two creative writing degrees (Iowa plus an Ivy). Her first book was being heralded by editors and reviewers all over the country, many of whom had watched her grow up. It was a phenomenon even before it hit bookshelves. She was an immediate star.
When (again) an audience member, clearly an undergrad, rose to ask this glamorous writer to what she attributed her success, the woman paused, then said that she had worked very, very hard and she’d had some good training, but she thought in looking back it was her decision never to have children that had allowed her to become a true artist. If you have kids, she explained to the group of desperate nubile writers, you have to choose between them and your writing. Keep it pure. Don’t let yourself be distracted by a baby’s cry.
I was dumbfounded. I wanted to leap to my feet and shout. “Hello? Alice Munro! Doris Lessing! Joan Didion!” Of course, there are thousands of other extraordinary writers who managed to produce art despite motherhood. But the essential point was that, the quality of her book notwithstanding, this author’s chief advantage had nothing to do with her reproductive decisions. It was about connections. Straight up. She’d had them since birth.
In my opinion, we do an enormous “let them eat cake” disservice to our community when we obfuscate the circumstances that help us write, publish and in some way succeed. I can’t claim the wealth of the first author (not even close); nor do I have the connections of the second. I don’t have their fame either. But I do have a huge advantage over the writer who is living paycheck to paycheck, or lonely and isolated, or dealing with a medical condition, or working a full-time job.
How can I be so sure? Because I used to be poor, overworked and overwhelmed. And I produced zero books during that time. Throughout my 20s, I was married to an addict who tried valiantly (but failed, over and over) to stay straight. We had three children, one with autism, and lived in poverty for a long, wretched time. In my 30s I divorced the man because it was the only way out of constant crisis. For the next 10 years, I worked two jobs and raised my three kids alone, without child support or the involvement of their dad.
I published my first novel at 39, but only after a teaching stint where I met some influential writers and three months living with my parents while I completed the first draft. After turning in that manuscript, I landed a pretty cushy magazine editor’s job. A year later, I met my second husband. For the first time I had a true partner, someone I could rely on who was there in every way for me and our kids. Life got easier. I produced a nonfiction book, a second novel and about 30 essays within a relatively short time.
Today, I am essentially “sponsored” by this very loving man who shows up at the end of the day, asks me how the writing went, pours me a glass of wine, then takes me out to eat. He accompanies me when I travel 500 miles to do a 75-minute reading, manages my finances, and never complains that my dark, heady little books have resulted in low advances and rather modest sales.
I completed my third novel in eight months flat. I started the book while on a lovely vacation. Then I wrote happily and relatively quickly because I had the time and the funding, as well as help from my husband, my agent and a very talented editor friend. Without all those advantages, I might be on page 52. OK, there’s mine. Now show me yours.
This is so important, especially for people like me, who are always hearing the radio station that plays “but you’re 26 and you are ~*~gifted~*~ and you can write, WHERE IS YOUR NOVEL” on constant loop.
It’s so important because I see younger people who can write going “oh yes, I can write, therefore I will be an English major, and write my book and live on that yes?? then I don’t have to do other jobs yes??” and you’re like “oh, no, honey, at least try to add another string to your bow, please believe that it will not happen quite like that”
It’s so important not to be overly impressed by Walden because Thoreau’s mother continued to cook him food and wash his laundry while he was doing his self-sufficient wilderness-experiment “sit in a cabin and write” thing.
It’s so important because when you’re impressed by Lord of the Rings, remember that Tolkien had servants, a wife, university scouts and various underlings to do his admin, cook his meals, chase after him, and generally set up his life so that the only thing he had to do was wander around being vague and clever. In fact, the man could barely stand to show up at his own day job.
It’s important when you look at published fiction to remember that it is a non-random sample, and that it’s usually produced by the leisure class, so that most of what you study and consume is essentially wolves in captivity - not wolves in the wild - and does not reflect the experiences of all wolves.
Yep. I tried for 8 years to write while also supporting myself as a teacher, and it was possible but really hard. It was basically write instead of having a social life, and even that was squeezing it in around marking essays, cooking, cleaning etc. Now my partner supports me, and I have the time to actually get *good*. I had my first play produced this year because of an opportunity I wouldn’t even have had time to apply for if it hadn’t been for being ‘sponsored’ by him. I still earn a laughable fraction of a liveable wage, by the way, and I can keep at it because he pays the rent. It really is incredible how much better you get if you actually have time to practice.
Why are you all so fuckin weird about liking kpop you really dont have to have cheesy ass fetish urls like korean-paradise or hangul-aesthetic or asianmenruinedmylife with titles and descriptions like “I’ve fallen in love with 7 perfect korean men” cut that shit out it’s embarrassing
ngl: as a white Western Kpop fan, it’s a constant challenge not to fetishise Koreans and Korean culture (and, by extension, all Asians and Asian culture). All these horrible crushes lend a sexual aura to ridiculously non-sexual things: I’m all too aware that learning Korean, reading about Korean history, and even trying Korean food are all frequently accompanied by a pleasant erotic frisson. It’s exactly the effect advertisers are hoping for when they create an association between idols and fried chicken. Anyway, all I can do is try to catch myself falling into fetishisation.
what the hell do u mean it’s a CHALLENGE to not fetishize asians? it should be easy if u think of them as humans ! Ur fucking weird and should leave asian culture alone if u feel such a “pleasant erotic frisson” from fucking trying korean food. Ur gross
